Listen to the nudge.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are” E. E. Cummings

I shared this quotation 5 years ago today (thank you Facebook for the On This Day). Five years ago. Wow. I was coming out of one of the darkest years of my life. I was afraid and completely broken. I began rebuilding broken relationships and giving my life BACK to God. I focused on Him, me, and my kiddo, nothing else. He got me through it and brought me to the most incredible years of my life. Going through the rough times has really prepared me for what God has been nudging me to do. 

1. Create this blog ✔️ 2. Go to school for Psychology/Christian Couseling 3. Help people dealing with addiction/recovery, domestic violence, broken relationships, self doubt, etc.

Creating this blog was the first step. I felt nudged a few months ago and really prayed about it in the months that followed. I finally listened and here we are. School has been a hurdle, because it doesn’t make sense financially since I feel like I’m being called to volunteer. You read that right, I want all of that education to volunteer. I have recently been feeling the nudge to go to my boss for advise. He’s a very wise man, but I kept ‘not finding time’ to talk with him. Until today. I couldn’t shake the feeling and he had time before his first patient. He gave me advice that I hadn’t given much thought. He suggested looking within the church for opportunities to help; turns out there is a care and recovery group. School may not be the right road, and I may just find another road where I can help using life experiences. I will be exploring that option and see what I come up with. 

All of this to say, don’t ignore what He’s pushing you to do. You are here with a purpose and to fulfill that purpose, you have to listen when He speaks. Sometimes it’s crystal clear and other times it’s a little harder to understand. If you’re going through a struggle, know that He is growing you. If you’re coming out of a struggle, what was it and how can you use it for His great works? Wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, know that you are not alone. Never give up. Keep moving forward. God is good all the time! 🙌🏻

Sublime.

Adjective. Of such excellence, grandeur, or beauty as to inspire great admiration or awe.

A sunset. Ocean waves. Blue Ridge Mountains. Lighthouses. These are gifts that are so sublime were given to us by God to enjoy while we’re here. It gives just a glimpse of what He is capable of. He has also given His son for our sins. He has given us the opportunity to know Him and depend on Him. Time with Him offers us a perfect love and peace that isn’t attainable through any worldly thing or person. I’m sitting here, this beautiful Saturday morning, thinking about my journey (so far) with Him, how He has grown me, and how He has shown me how much He loves us. His work is sublime.

I’m working on putting my testimony into words to share. What He has accomplished is better than worlds can explain. I’ll try with impressive, astonishing, breathtaking, awesome.

Think back on His work in your life. Pretty amazing, right?


I love you with all my kidney.

Four years ago today, I gave a kidney to my big little brother. He’s younger by about 8-9 years, but he’s been much taller for most of those years. He’s had a handful a different medical conditions since he was a baby that made my heart break. However, he has handled like a pro! Oh and he is so wise beyond is years. Truly an old soul. He developed kidney issues, and it finally came time to discuss options. I saw this day coming several months prior and asked if I could please help. We weren’t crossing that bridge yet so the discussion was tabled. God had just pulled me from one of the darkest years of my life so I wasn’t a family favorite at that moment. God was still healing me. Side bar: it’s incredible the difference one year can make!

Fast forward to the day I saw my now husband. God showed me that He was the one and I was going to be ok. Not long after we began dating, my brothers kidneys were getting worse. I knew God had plans for me. I could feel it. My mom and stepdad weren’t able to be donors so I asked if I could be tested for a match. They agreed and thankfully, I was. I told my boyfriend (now husband) and he thought it was incredible and was fully supportive. This man God had given me went with me to appointments, held my hand and watched all of the emotions and obstacles. We got to a point where we needed to fast track testing and appointments as dialysis was coming into conversation, and we didn’t want that. Talk about miracles, we got scheduled right as it was looking like it would have to happen. Timing is a beautiful thing. 

While some thought I wasn’t thinking about the future enough, I knew that God was allowing this because my son and I are and will be fine. I had all the love and support I needed. At the time I was a smoker, but wanted to quit and I had been asking God to help me drop habit. But when I felt stress, I’d light right up. On June 13, 2013, I smoked a cigarette because I was so anxious for the next day and ready for my brother to get better. Little did I know that would be my last (basically). June 14, 2013 was surgery. It would be long, and with any surgery, there would be risks. When they cut out my kidney, they’d put it in a cooler and take it across to the children’s hospital via an underground tunnel (very neat!). Easy peasy, let’s do this thing!

Nope. I don’t remember much, but it was not so easy peasy. I had to redo a test the morning of, which delayed start time. I remember waking up in a strange place, alone, crying and wanting a familiar face. I was hurting and I knew nothing about my brother, or even myself. They finally got an open room and I was being wheeled down a hall when I saw my mom, my stepdad, my cousin (Brandi) and that incredible man God blessed me with. I was going in and out but I saw faces I needed to see. … Now let’s be clear, I think those are the faces I saw. It’s a vague memory. Then they told me my brother was having a rough time and was in the ICU. 

Wait! That’s not how this was supposed to happen. He’s supposed to be fixed! The next few days were tough. I was extremely foggy (the series of events may be out of order). I remember Terrance, my family, and Chick-fil-A (that’s a good start). All I wanted to do was see my brother. All the nurses wanted was for me to walk. My mom relayed messages between Lee and me. I had Terrance so I wanted parents to be with my brother. Lee was still fighting and he needed them. Terrance helped me when the nurses wouldn’t, he sat in silence with me, watched me sleep, and even washed my hair. (God, you are so good!) I finally got up and moving enough to walk down the hall and RING THE BELL! Talk about exhaustion. The next big thing, they were finally going to wheel me across the way to see my bother. Bittersweet. He was doing better but he wasn’t doing better. 

When I went home my brother was still in the hospital, but thankfully he came home about a week later. We both struggled through recovery, him more than me but we had an incredible support system. I battled for 6 months with pain medication but through God I let go and moved forward. I had a thyroid issue pop up, but it has been resolved through prayer. I’ve delt with depression and anxiety, and I’ve also ended up with a collapsed disc. You see, my kidney was attached to a rod in my spine which cause difficulty with my surgery and when they disconnected it, it may have, through the years, caused the collapse. I pray for relief, and some days are better than others, but no matter what it is, I keep on living life. I’ve been so grateful for the love and light of my Heavenly Father. Lee has definitely had ups and downs over the past few years as well. He went to college, and is hopefully going back in the fall. So praise God for that for sure! He has been colorblind for years and through a fall (which wasn’t good) he was given back his ability to see color! It was fun asking, “What color is that? What color is that?” With a weakened immune system, sickness really gets him hard. He’s had several trips to the doctor and the hospital. His body even tried to reject the kidney and THAT was scary. I didn’t understand, but I had God to lean on and pray that He heal my brother. It’s been a long road and continues to be a journey best placed in the hands of the ONE who can carry us through. 

It’s amazing to look back on the past several years and see how God has pieced things together. He works in unbelievable ways and I pray I always pay attention to just HOW MUCH He has accomplished through us. I know without a doubt that He leads and carries my family and I. The mountains and the valleys create beautiful testimony. God is SO good! 

Answered prayers. 

Have you ever been stopped in your tracks and realized God just answered a prayer? 

Our 10 year old, really struggled in math this year. While normally he excels in math, that was not turning out to be the case. He had a long term sub during the first nine weeks and as sweet as she was, it wasn’t good fit for him in math. Then his teacher came back and again, she was kind but he wasn’t doing well and she thought he was doing fine. Mind you, he had been teetering pass/fail all semester. If you’re familiar with common core, you know it’s pretty difficult. I was struggling to help him and he was getting further and further behind. I turned to God in prayer, praying he would just pass. I would’ve taken a 69.5 at this point. In February, we moved so he was switching schools and yes, getting another teacher. This teacher was great… a little too late. Once you fall behind in math, it’s a snowball effect. We found Mathnasium around the corner but oh my… the cost. I continued to turn my prayer to God. Just help him pass. Help me figure out how to afford Mathnasium. Show us how to help him. This continued through the semester, and unfortunately, he barely failed. So summer school, here we come. Today was the first day. He’ll be there for 15 days doing nothing but math. Well God, thank you for that answered prayer. We couldn’t afford Mathnasium and he didn’t pass. It wasn’t my answer, it was His. For 15 days, 6.5 hours a day, our son will be dedicated to learning math. He’ll get back on track and I truly believe he will do great next year. Had he passed math, he still would be behind with understanding. If we went with Mathnasium, we would be strapped financially. So behind door number three was the perfect solution. I never doubted what He was doing. I just couldn’t see, in the moment, what He working on. 

If/when you think God isn’t answering your prayers. He is. It’s always on His time and His answer may be one we hadn’t yet thought of. Keep the faith. 

Love one another.

Our two greatest commands, love God and love one another. Something our pastor said Sunday has really been on my mind. He said, “Am I loving more today than I did yesterday?” …. Unfortunately, not always.

Talking with my husband tonight, I confessed something I am really striving for more than anything. It sort of piggybacks off of a previous post. Loving others. Tears running down my face, from my whole heart, “What I want, more than anything, is to genuinely love everyone with all my heart.” It’s not easy. I try. I fail most days. My personal weakness? Anger. Not a violent anger, but a festering frustration when my feelings get hurt. I tend to wear my emotions for all to see. That being said, it’s hard to love as He loves us, to forgive as He has forgiven, and to not let worldly things consume us. All it takes is one person to change our smile, strike a nerve and unsettle us. But I’m called to love. Again, it’s not easy. We aren’t God and we are imperfect. That’s the beauty of His grace and mercy. He shows me daily that He still loves me. So it didn’t work so well today. Don’t give up. Tomorrow is always a brand new start. Take a breath, and talk to God. He WILL show us how if we slow down and listen. In a world where darkness is behind every corner, we can share Gods love (and His work) as best we can and shine our light. One simple act of compassion could change someone’s entire day. That one act of compassion could be shared or repeated, and it could potentially shine Gods love and light to even more people.

Loving and being loved breathes life into us. Think about how you feel when your spouse/significant other says they love you, when you hear the heartbeat of your unborn child for the first time, when you see that sweet face seconds after being delivered, the support of friends through hard times, and above all, the love of God. Love is so vital to our being. It helps us thrive, and it helps us strive to do better.

Love one another. Faithfully. Without conditions. Don’t give up on one another. Let God use you! 💕

Oh my heart.

When I see Gods light shining through my child, there’s no greater feeling. I’m thankful, proud, and thrilled that he’s experiencing the love of our Father.

A brief background: He has seen God work in our lives, including his, and he made the decision 4.17.16 to be baptized and follow Jesus; made even more special than normal because his dad baptized him. (Yes, tears.) 

Today, we were headed to his dentist appointment and we were listening to Hillsong Young & Free “Only Wanna Sing.” He’s come to love their music through his class on Sundays. I peek in my rear view mirror and saw his hands in the air. Oh my heart.  I sneak a photo (below) and I could visibly see the passion I had been hearing in his voice. We listened to several songs and he belted out the lyrics. He brings so much joy to our lives.


If I could choose to only get ONE thing right, it would be for our child to always walk with Jesus. Later, he was opening doors for everyone; we had a couple errands to run. I told him he was so kind, which is his typical personality. He then explained that when he listens to worship music, it helps him and he makes good choices. His innocence and his kindness, I hope he carries it with him always. 

It really reaffirms that it doesn’t matter, young or old, God works through us all. His light and His love shine bright for others to see as long as we allow Him to. And when we share His works with others, He can continue to spread. 

What is God doing in your life? 

Not every day is perfect.

Well it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Issues with my wisdom teeth, breathing problems, high blood pressure, anxiety, self-doubt… and allowing myself to listen to gossip and being involved in it. I spiraled downward and got off the right track. It happened so fast and before I knew it, I realized, I’m trying to control my life. Which is not mine to control. And frankly, I was not being Christ-like. I was not loving others and being kind. I’ve been the topic of gossip, it hurts. It’s a betrayal of trust and it’s infectious. I’ve been praying for someone and I wasn’t even being a good example. So He prompted me to stop, re-evaluate and renew me heart. I listened. I got back to spending time with Him. Worship music, His word, daily Scripture, prayer and being kind to others. Then, through Him and His never ending grace, all is well. He gives me more love and more grace than I deserve but oh, how I appreciate it so very much. 

Not every day is perfect. It’s constantly working on a relationship with God and others. It is a continuous journey. It is WANTING to be completey submerged in God and being completely dependent on Him. If you find yourself irritated, overwhelmed, anxious, etc. it’s a sign directly from the Holy Spirit that you’re spending less time with God and more time in the ways of the world. I’m guilty of just that. It’s not always easy, but it IS ALWAYS worth it. You can always restart. Everyday is a new chance to do right.

I pray you never give up. 

Seester/friend 🐙

Have you ever put a relationship 110% in the hands of God? Like fully built and guided and strengthened by Him and only Him? The kind that if He wasn’t involved, it would possibly flounder around like a fish out of water? I definitely have relationships like that. The one I want to share is the one I have with my sister-in-law aka SEESTER. (Did you pick up on that from the title?). This one is the most significant, because it is CLEAR that God is right the middle of us. Of course, I’m giving a Reader’s Digest version since this spans over a little more than 2 years. Lots of details there.

It all began back in (roughly) January or February 2015. I met Caitlyn through the church my (at the time) soon-to-be-brother-in-law was hired on for ministry. … And those two, let’s just say there was DEFINITELY a spark. I found out she was a medical assistant wanting to work in pediatrics. I was working at a pediatric office that desperately NEEDED a dependable and pleasant medical assistant. She was the fit and we instantly began an incredible friendship. Placed at the right place at the right time. She even so kindly (at the last minute) stood by me on my wedding day. I was so thankful for this friend God gave me. Soon after, her and my brother-in-law were engaged and we were planning a wedding. Now it wasn’t all beautiful. Somewhere along the way it started becoming distant. It was good then rocky then great then not even speaking. We would talk about the current struggle and everything would be fine for a week or two. Each of us blamed the other for why things were the way they were. The worst part? It wasn’t only a strain between us, but the tension was felt by others in our lives. Then, a beautiful baby was on the way. So we tried harder… even some half-hearted conversations and prayers for a better relationship. The thing is, when you don’t hand it over to God with your whole heart, and trust your faith in ANY situation… He can’t do His part. Sweet baby Olivia graced us with her presence at the end of 2016. While this was a beautiful moment, I still had frustrations because it still wasn’t the relationship God intended. She needed me and I needed her, but it just wasn’t happening. Well, a few months into this new year, things came to a head. In a HUGE way. A few days passed and we planned to talk and really commit to getting this right. I really listened, and was also 100% honest on how I was feeling. She did the same. I placed our relationship and my hopes in my prayer journal and she too prayed over us. That is when our relationship finally had a breakthrough.

Fast forward another two months (to now), our relationship is the most beautiful gift from God. The way it started, the way He planned it. Good things take time, and “every good and perfect thing comes from above.” We have continually prayed and worked to make time for one another. Most important, we listen to God. He prompts us to reach out, to make plans, to just be there for one another, to lift each other up, to encourage and pray for each other. I know, without a doubt, we are where we are ONLY because of Him. I love her like the sister God blessed me with. I am grateful for our journey, I am grateful for where we are, and I am looking forward to always sharing life with this beautiful kind-hearted human.

If you’re struggling with any relationship, hand it over to God. Not a little, but all the way. I promise He will show you what to do, and He will show you how to love one another. When it seems like all hope is lost, He is the Healer. And remember, it’s not on our time, but God’s time. Each time we tried on our own, we failed. But with Him, He has created a bond that is so precious. It takes time. Don’t rush.

From now to where it all began:


Gotta start somewhere.

I’ve had a passion stirring inside me for a couple of months now to start a blog. After praying and talking about it with my husband, I have decided to give it a go. So here goes…

I’ve always had a love for writing, and I feel people sometimes read better than they listen. Yes, I’ve been guilty of this also. The thing with a conversation is you can be cut off and shut down. With writing, you can get your thoughts together and just put it all out there. These days, negativity is looming around every corner and trying to spoil all things positive like a bad apple. There’s so much good still in the world, and my goal is to share those good things. Now not every post with be rainbows and butterflies, but it will be raw and real and inspire by God. It will ultimately show Him moving and working in my life, and possibly (with their permission to post) lives of others around me. This is the BEST kind of positivity. Even on a rainy day, you can see Him and know that He is there and YOU are loved. This rough day is building you up and making you stronger. And on those great days? Well, we give thanks for a GREAT day and a GREAT God.

Today’s moment:

There’s something peaceful (yes, in the midst of their CRAZY lunch rush) about sitting alone and enjoying lunch at Chick-fil-A. I’ve recently lessened how often I eat out, including CFA (which was a 3-4 times a week stop). I’m struggling with weight loss and I’ve been praying for God to help me. Food was step one. However, after a week of not feeling 100%, I found myself in a back, corner booth. I’ve really been stressing; between needing my wisdom teeth out, affording said procedure (and waiting for insurance to approve it FIRST), hoping my bloodwork from todays appointment is normal, and the possibility of summer school for my kiddo… I just had to STOP. I have to give it to God and let I go. So I read todays “A Little God Time for Mothers” and just reflected on the week. I had to thank God for all of the way He showed His presence in our lives. It’s so easy in the rush of life to miss the little things, and sometimes we even miss this big things.

Currently, I’ve really attempted to slow down and just take it all in. This blog will also help with that. Whether it reaches millions, hundreds, or just a few… It just takes one. Regardless, it will show what He’s doing, and what He can do. If you just listen, and invite Him in and let Him work.